It’s actually pretty easy to get married in Japan. You only need to go to the city hall where you want to get married. As for me, we chose his hometown where his Honseki (本籍) or “registered domicile”, is. Where we live now is just an hour away from his hometown so it’s easy enough to pop over there and get our marriage documents. Also, I thought that if we ever moved somewhere else, we can always ask his parents, who still live there, to just pick them up and send it to us.
Last year, we had talked about how we wanted to do our wedding. We planned on doing the paperwork first and then do the actual ceremony. It was hard to iron out when we should do it because my mother and siblings are in the US, and my father and other relatives are in the Philippines. And my friends are all scattered around the world. Then COVID-19 hit.
At the time, it was mostly in China so we didn’t think too much about it but, it just kept spreading and getting worse.
My dad had booked a trip to come here to visit me back in April. He was also supposed to meet my fiancé’s parents. He and my fiancé had already met a year before so he was looking forward to meeting my would-be-in-laws. However, considering how bad the situation was getting and since both my dad and my fiancé’s parents are high risk, we decided to cancel his trip.
Anyway, we didn’t think this pandemic would end anytime soon so we got married a month earlier than planned (which actually coincided with the date he proposed to me). We were worried it was going to be more dangerous to go out later on.
So, today I’ll talk about marrying a Japanese National. I am a Filipino citizen so please bear that in mind. The requirements are different for every country but I think the main requirements are still the same.
So, what documents did we need?
Kon-in Todoke form or marriage registration form with signatures and hanko by two witnesses who are over 20 years old. My in-laws did this for us.
The Japanese person’s Koseki or Family Register. My husband didn’t need this because he lived in that town so they already have the documents on file.
Proof of your “singleness”. For Filipinos, this would be the LCCM (Legal capacity to contract marriage) certificate. However in my case, the city hall accepted my Certificate of No Marriage Record (CENOMAR). They did add an additional affidavit about the expiration of the document because in Japan, most documents are only valid for 3 months, but in the Philippines, my CENOMAR was valid for 6 months. DISCLAIMER: This totally depends on the city hall. They may not accept your document so just to be safe, you should get the LCCM. Just check the Philippine embassy for more details.
Proof of nationality. I passed my birth certificate and my passport. Of course, I also brought my residence card but I think just your passport would suffice.
Japanese translations of the foreign documents. You can translate this yourself. I did it myself and just asked my husband to check it for me.
And…..That’s it. We were married. It wasn’t romantic or anything at all. It was very quick and I went to work that same day.
My husband and I. Happy Wedding Bell at 幸せのパンケーキ淡路島リゾート
I still want to have a wedding ceremony someday with all my family but it seems the COVID-19 situation isn’t getting any better so who knows when that will be. But at least we’re together and we can start our lives together.
I’m editing this post I left unpublished way back in 2017. At the time, I had meant to restart up my blog but life got in the way again. So here I am trying to recap everything that happened since I made this blog…that was supposed to be all about my life in Japan.
Okay. So. I can’t believe I’ve been working and living in Japan for over fourseven years already! omg
I’ve learned so much and met lots of great people. But it hasn’t been all fun though– I’ve suffered through some depressing times. The loneliness can get to you– because even if you meet a lot of nice people here, the relationships can be a bit superficial.
I had even wondered what the hell I was doing in Japan anymore. After working in Hokkaido for about 4 years, I decided it was time to move on. With my all-work-and-no-play lifestyle, a lack of a satisfying social life and a love life for that matter– I was turning the big 3-0 in a few years, I was getting more and more pressured about marriage (YES, YES. I know, independent women and all that. But where I’m from, most people get married in their mid-late 20s and it can be pressuring to see all my friends “move on” with their lives). I just felt stuck.
Also, while Hokkaido is a beautiful place to live in, I was so sick of the snow.
After crawling through a horrible blizzard to get home to my apartment one night, I decided then and there that I’d leave this frozen cr*phole and move someplace warmer!
ギブ ギブ ギブ！！！
Working at my old workplace wasn’t a walk in the park but it was comfortable, so it was quite hard for me to actually get things running for my “move”. I was also worried because I would be leaving all the friends I have made behind.
I ended up going for it and sent out applications. I was offered a job at small city in Shikoku. Basically the boondocks.
I was also offered a job in Osaka but I had such a nice time talking to my would-be-boss in Shikoku, that I accepted the offer even though I had originally wanted to move into a bigger city. The (much much) higher salary helped a bit with that decision. lol. Also, the workload is lighter than in my previous job.
NOW, this place was completely different from snowy Hokkaido. It was warm. You can see the sea from my apartment. It was so refreshing. The first time I opened the car door, I was instantly hit by that sea smell. It was a bit fishy too. I mentioned this to my boss but she couldn’t smell it. And after living here for a while, it soon became the norm for me too.
The view near my apartment
Anyway, it’s an interesting city for sure. A lot of history compared to my previous town. Hokkaido is relatively “new”. I mean, technically, it’s just about 150 years old (depending on who you ask).
So, it was nice to see old houses– traditionally tiled roofs, old buildings, shrines and temples. Not to mention a castle, which can also be seen from my apartment.
It’s a small castle but it’s still beautiful
So, now that I’ve moved, I was on the way to making a more…[insert adjective] “life”. I wanted to change something.
At this point, I was only planning on staying in Japan for one more year and maybe move back to the Philippines or go to my family in the US. I didn’t have a concrete plan at all.
So, for my last year in Japan. I wanted to just experience something else that I haven’t experienced yet in Japan.
And..I did.
Just imagine that it’s playing in your head ala montage
Ah, memories. lol
I was really happy that I could go to all these events and places. And to finally see a fireworks display at a festival in Japan!! I was always working until 10:30pm everyday and they always held the fireworks display whenever I had to work! I always used to sadly listen to the loud booms and bangs while teaching.
It was also at this time that I decided to not be a shy wallflower anymore and actually go out and meet people. OUTSIDE OF WORK.
It was difficult because my Japanese is okay but I wasn’t very confident about it because I only studied Japanese by myself (not that I actually studied much).
I never really had a relationship before this. I had a few romances in the Philippines which never turned into anything concrete but never the real thing.
I was asked out by some guys in Hokkaido but I was really shy when it came to the opposite sex. It didn’t help that I had body image issues because I was overweight in a skinny country. So I always refused or changed the topic. Also, I wasn’t that interested. I had hobbies and friends who I poured all my attention to.
But I wanted to try meeting someone this time. So, I started dating. I decided to throw away my goody-goody-two-shoes-wearing-catholic-girl mentality to the proverbial wind.
I met a few Japanese guys, but I never really clicked with any of them. Just ended up being one night stands. Met some foreigners, too. But some lived too far away for a relationship to happen or I didn’t really like them so much.
Surprisingly though, I ended up dating a Korean guy. Who was living in Seoul. It was crazy considering he lived in another country! But he was my ideal. He ticked all the boxes (although later on, I would find out that he didn’t tick the most important box).
He flew me there often so I could meet up with him. The first moment I saw him in real life, it was really like electricity was flowing through my veins. We almost tore each other’s clothing at that small coffee shop.
It ended up being a very toxic and crazy relationship. After that, I decided to just date around. Play around, whatever you call it. I wasn’t expecting anything at all and I was actually enjoying my slutty carefree life. I had completely shed off the conservative filipino girl that I was.
I was nearing the end of my contract though but I was having so much fun that I decided to stay one more year.
Then, I decided to meet up with a local Japanese guy. He lived an hour and a half away from me but he wanted to meet up. So, we decided to meet at a fastfood place near my apartment for lunch.
Physically, I prefer the more bookish, “majime” look, usually with glasses. So when I first saw him, I was a bit disappointed. Not that he looked bad or anything! He was quite…wild looking. I don’t mean his hair or his clothes. There was something about his face. I can’t put my finger on it. He had very kind eyes though. Then, when he started talking, I could see he had a really pronounced gap tooth. My mother is an orthodontist so it was my first time to see that.
I didn’t feel anything particularly negative about it but I guess he looked different from his photo. Like I said, not bad, just different.
He told me we should move to a cafe that I liked. There aren’t a lot of coffee shops in my town and I didn’t know my way around the city since I had just moved there so I just told him about the cake/cafe shop near my apartment. It was literally a 4-minute walk.
It was amazing. We had such a great time. Our conversation flowed so well. It felt so natural. I really felt like I was talking to a friend I’ve known for a long time. We started talking about our travels. My internship to Europe and visits to other countries. His, to various countries and his gap year in the US. At this point, I wasn’t really sure if it was a date. Many Japanese people use Tinder to meet foreign friends or for language exchange. I am usually fine for either. So, I asked him point blank. He said he wanted to meet friends. So, I was like. Great! Finally a friend with the same hobbies and likes that I can get along with.
We started talking about video games. And about VR. I mentioned that I actually had a VR headset (PSVR). He seemed really excited so I said, “Well, my apartment is like down the road so if you want to, you can try it out.”
We moved to my apartment and tried out a few games. It was really fun! I hadn’t had time to play with the VR yet coz I had just bought it but it was fun to play it with another person instead of by myself.
After a while, he asked if we could watch a movie when I mentioned that I had Netflix. We started to watch Tomb Raider. He made a move around the scene where Lara Croft’s mansion was getting invaded. Lol. I have no memory of the rest of that movie. He stayed the night in the end. I asked him afterwards what happened to the “friends” thing. He said, he really liked me but he’s Japanese and he can’t say that kind of thing so directly to my face.
We’ve been married for almost a year now and have just moved to a house in that very same city. :)
So I finally met up with my cousin and her family. Her husband is half Japanese/Filipino so he can speak fluent Japanese, English and Tagalog. He’s a silent type of guy but he likes anime as well so I often talk to him about it. I finally got to see my niece! She’s so cute and she’s a ballerina to boot, so whenever we would stop and wait for a bus/train/taxi/whatever, she would start pointing her toes and practicing her dance moves. Haha!
In the pictures below, you can constantly see us wearing/holding white surgical masks. When I first arrived in Japan, I thought it was really scary– like some sort of plague. When I asked my cousin about it, she said that some people have pollen allergy, like her, so they have to wear masks every spring. Of course, she said, if they were sick it was just good manners (This was the first time I would hear about this manā or ‘manner‘ in Japan; I’ll elaborate on this one soon.) to wear masks to prevent the spread of the sickness. And if you’re scared of catching a cold then some people would wear one as well. Recently though I heard some younger people would wear them just because it’s comforting to hide behind the mask. I myself have worn them on such occasions.
My cousin and my niece– she was actually making a funny face but I had to censor it hahaha!
My niece
I arrived at a pretty awkward time because my cousin was actually moving to Tokyo in 2 days so we were quite busy cleaning and packing everything for the big move. I started playing with her son, who was 2 years old, and he was so energetic and cute I was exhausted by the end of the day. At around 3pm, my niece came back from school, and we went to her ballet studio to say goodbye to her teachers and classmates.
My niece at one of her recitals
After she introduced me to her teachers, she suddenly started crying. I tried comforting her but her teachers and her classmates started crying too. They hugged my niece and gave her presents and encouragement. We left the ballet studio soon after and she started cheering up. She pointed out some buildings and some places that she thought I would be interested in. We arrived back at the apartment and my cousin and my nephew had dressed up and told us we will go around Minato Mirai so I can have a look around.
My parents actually collected Hard Rock Cafe T-shirts when I was younger
I look weird here
Delicious Ramen~~
After that we went home and waited for my cousin-in-law and we watched a movie while we ate shabu-shabu. My stomach was so full I felt so sleepy but Haru, my cousin’s 2 year old, kept playing with me and wouldn’t let me sleep. I finally put on some of his favorite disney shows on his i-pad and watched it together on my futon. When my niece and nephew fell asleep, my cousin and I talked about news back home and some family drama that I’m definitely not getting into now, but it made for a pretty interesting topic. I woke up the next day feeling awesome. I was going to meet my friend in Akabane and she promised we would go around Akihabara that day.
OK, I’m off to sleep! I’m actually setting this to go live tomorrow when I go back to work.
sakura shades 