Another birthday in Japan

The birthdays I have had here in Japan were for the most part…forgettable. To be fair, it can’t be helped since I chose to live and work far away from my family and friends. There was always a birthday party for me at work of course, but I can’t seem to remember what had happened though I do remember that feeling of “Oh, I’m still here” and more importantly, “Why?”. Holidays, days off, vacation time. I was always doing something but I always felt lonely which I guess made me ask those questions.

But, I had always been aloof. I have always done things on my own. My mother moved to the U.S. when I was in junior high. My dad came home late everyday and eventually moved to a different city to work. My siblings and I were used to being by ourselves. I moved to the city to attend university and from then on, I had always lived by myself. So, I guess I do tend to push people away. Maybe, this loneliness I had was self-inflicted.

Maybe. But I couldn’t find anyone that I really connected with. It was so tiring to be with people. I felt exhausted pretending to be interested in people at work. Acting all happy and perky when I feel like shit. The conversations in classes– they’re so utterly dull. Even when I try to introduce interesting topics, the answers were just regurgitated opinions of each another. Very few went against the grain. Not that being against the grain is a good thing. I don’t know. I just wasn’t terribly interested.

Small talk, office politics, and gossip at work made my head hurt.

I guess I’m just tired of talking. In the first place, I didn’t like to talk to people. Chatting or texting, fine. But actually talking? It was difficult for me. So it’s crazy to think that I went into this type of job that is obviously not a good fit for me. But, I was good at it. I guess I can “pretend” to talk very well.

I recently read Strange Weather in Tokyo by Hiromi Kawakami.

“I had been alone. I rode the bus alone, I walked around the city alone, I did my shopping alone, and I drank alone. And even when I was with Sensei now, I didn’t feel any different from when I did these things on my own. It seemed, then, that it didn’t really matter whether or not I was with Sensei, but the truth was, doing these things with him made me feel proper. ”

Strange Weather in Tokyo by Hiromi Kawakami

The heroine and I were not completely the same but at the same time we were. I felt almost embarrassed reading the book because it was like reading about myself and my flawed character.

When I met my husband, I felt a connection with him. He was so easy to talk to and our conversation flowed without me getting tired. We don’t agree on everything but it didn’t matter.

I didn’t really think much of it though. If he hadn’t asked to see me again, I don’t think I would have done anything. I probably would have forgotten about him soon after and continued on as usual.

But, he is bold and persistent. He became a constant thing in my life, whether I wanted him to be or not. It just became natural that he was there.

“Proper” is perhaps a strange way to put it. It was more like the way I felt about leaving on the obi, the extra band that sometimes came with a dust jacket, after I had bought a book, rather than throwing it away. Sensei would probably be angry if he knew I was comparing him to the band on a dust jacket.
When I saw Sensei at the bar and we pretended not to know each other, it felt as distressing as if the ripped-off band and book were lying strewn about on the ground.”

Strange Weather in Tokyo by Hiromi Kawakami

Instead of making me feel tired, I actually felt comfortable and at ease. Even when I unloaded everything to him and he did the same to me. Now, while we have our fair share of problems, we still feel comfortable with each other to let out everything inside of us and not worry about either of us leaving.

Since then, my birthdays have been memorable. Not because of what we did but the absence of the questions I had earlier. It became “I’m glad I’m still here. I hope to continue like this for as long as possible.”

It is also because of him that I can have the courage now to quit my job (which I did a few weeks before my birthday) and actually do what I want to do. I already have a plan but I’m still working on it. Fingers crossed.

Anyway, for the actual birthday celebration, we spent a great weekend together. We drove to the local rice museum, had a nice lunch and spent the day walking around the town. We ate yakiniku at home.

My husband showing off his artistic skills by drawing “us”

The longest wooden corridor in Japan

The next day, after lazing around at home, we went to an island nearby and watched the sunset.

The sun was about to set.

We went to a higher place afterwards to get a better view. A couple of people with cameras and drones had the same idea.

My husband insisted to make a photoshoot out of it. Normally, he isn’t a shutterbug but he was really enthusiastic about it. He even took those “couples-kissing” photos. Obviously I’m not gonna upload those since it’s too embarrassing.

Afterwards, we went to a French restaurant. It was small but very nice. I heard the chef used to work for a European embassy in Japan but I don’t know which one. Everything we ate was delicious.

First course: ハガツオのコンフィ

Striped bonito confit and veggies underneath, I couldn’t catch what the server said when she was explaining it… (T^T) It was surprising how unlike bonito the taste was, I felt that it was more like meat than fish! Very very good though.

Second course: フランス産　フォアグラのポワレ　ポルチーニ茸のリゾット

Foie Gras poêlé and Porcini mushroom risotto OMG SO DELICIOUS

Third course: オマール海老と帆立貝とラタトゥイユのキャベツ包み ブイヤベースソース

Lobster, scallops, and ratatouille wrapped in cabbage in a bouillabaisse sauce

Main course: 宮崎産和牛モモ肉 (トモサンカク) のロースト　ポムアンナ　

Roasted Miyazaki Wagyu Tri-tip with Pommes Anna, mushrooms and unknown greens lol SOOO GOOD.

Dessert course: ガトーショコラロワイヤル　ピスタチオのアイスクリーム

Gateau chocolat royal and pistachio ice cream

マンゴーとココナツのシャーベット (Not in picture)

Mango and coconut sherbet

Haha. I guess this ended up being a food blog halfway through.

Surprise winter wonderland in rural Shikoku

January came with snow. A lot of snow.

Usually, in our small town, somewhere in the south of Shikoku, we rarely experience heavy snow. We might have a day or two during the winter season in which small snowflakes fall down very peacefully, but they never stick to the ground.

Kids going home on single file in the snow

The locals told me that this kind of weather happens every 10 years or so. I haven’t experienced snow since leaving Hokkaido 4 years ago so I do feel a bit nostalgic. It reminded me how peaceful and beautiful it looked.

However, since we were not used to this kind of weather, we didn’t have snow tires installed. I was a bit worried when my husband left for work as there were already several accidents earlier that morning. It was fine in the end though.

It kept snowing for 3 days straight. The house we had moved into is pretty old and traditional which means, it’s made of wood and isn’t very well insulated. It was freezing. I couldn’t sleep. Thankfully, my mother-in-law had sent us home with their spare fan heater when we visited them last New year’s. I was very happy to be under the warm futon by the fan heater. Unfortunately, that meant condensation. I had to make sure I wiped all the condensation from the windows otherwise, mold (my enemy) will grow.

I had always lived in a western-styled apartment since I came to Japan. It is my first time living in a traditional Japanese house with washitsu rooms. It was a big change for me, especially since we had to be careful with the kind of furniture we used or else the tatami mats would be ruined.

We had also switched from a bed to a futon. My mother-in-law gave us some futon to use as well. So my husband and I have separate single futon mattresses which we just pushed together to make a bigger futon. My husband was very happy since he had always felt squished in my semi-double western bed before. I also found myself able to sleep more peacefully. I am a very light sleeper so when my husband turns in his sleep, I always woke up. Now, both of us can move freely and at the same time we can cuddle while sleeping too if we wanted.

He also told me we should buy a new kakebuton since my comforter was extremely lacking. It was very thin and didn’t retain much heat. We shopped around and saw some which cost over 600,000 yen! I was so shocked. He had told me that his kakebuton that his mother had bought him cost over 200,000-something yen. I didn’t believe it at the time because who in their right mind would pay for that. He told me that he loves sleeping the most so he is willing to spend on it. Now that I think about it, he is also using a Tempur pillow which costs over 20,000 yen.

I didn’t want to spend that much money just for a blanket so I chose a reasonably priced (but fluffy) one from Nitori. It’s still expensive for me at 32,000 yen but compared to those prices, mine seemed very cheap. To be honest, I would have been happy with a 3000 yen kakebuton on Amazon but he insisted we get at least the Nitori one because as he always says, “Sleep is the most important thing”.

Anyway, I’m glad we got it coz now I feel so comfy warm under it while looking at the snow out my window.

(A very horrible) Christmas Eve in Japan 2020

A few days ago, after a late night dinner at a parking lot at a local Japanese fast food restaurant, I fell down and badly injured my right ankle. Oh, and with the full force and weight of my entire body, hit my already bad left knee (from a bicycle accident a few years ago) to smithereens. LOL I kid, but it felt like that.

I couldn’t put my weight on the ankle at all, and my knee was throbbing with pain as well. I was crying a little bit while grunting in pain when my husband tried to pull me up. I probably looked like a crazy person hanging onto his neck. An ojisan came to ask if I was okay but I was in so much pain that all I could muster was just a quick “Daijoubu desu”. I was embarrassed and wanted to get off my ankle as soon as possible so my husband helped/dragged me to the car and we went home.

I started to feel cold. My teeth were chattering like crazy. Is it because of the adrenaline?? hehe

He parked in front of our house and helped me out of the car. It was very hard. It took no less than 3 steps when he suggested we go to the hospital. We struggled to go back 3 steps to the car when he said, “Well, they probably won’t be able to help much. Should we still go?”

I was pissed off that he said that after going back to the car but I knew he was right, I didn’t think it was broken anyway, because I’m sure I would have passed out from the pain if it were broken lol. So, again, we struggled to walk back to our front door and then get me on the couch.

Our bedroom is on the second floor but there’s no way I’d be able to go up the stairs in my condition so he brought down our futons and set them up in the living room. He put mine on top of a sofa bed (this decision would come to haunt me later), thinking that it would be easier for me to get up from there instead of the floor. I fell asleep pretty quickly after we talked about how I was feeling. He tucked me in, a bit haphazardly, bumping into me or putting down the heavy blanket on my ankle. I was already irritable because of the pain and you could see it in my face in the picture which I didn’t know he took. ↓↓↓↓

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Apparently, he thinks it’s cute when I’m in pain. He always takes unflattering pictures of me.

Later that night…CRASH BANG BOOM.

My husband woke up by this huge thundering sound.

I had fallen off the bed. The sofa bed is small, so when I tried to turn in my sleep, the sofa bed flipped itself out. My husband was so shocked and worried but after he made sure I was okay (I have to admit, I cried a little bit because of the pain, I landed on my ankle EEPP!!), he laughed himself silly.

—

Early the next morning, I had to let my boss know that I won’t be able to come to work that day. Unfortunately, probably due to that dang workaholic attitude of Japan, she was hysterical and wanted me to come in. I almost wanted to say, “Sure, I can! But I’ll be coming in with a wheelchair!”.

She then proceeded to chastise me about “how little I cared about her work schedule”. Oh well. As much as I didn’t want to use up my paid holidays, it was impossible to go.

My husband went to work early and told me he’d be back at 10 o’clock to bring me to the clinic. The doctor saw me and told me my bones were fine, which I’m very thankful for. But I had badly sprained it so he sent me to get cryotherapy on it. He told me to ice it for 24-72 hours and gave me a bunch of painkillers.

And, gasp. Kampo for my bruises. If you’ve ever taken kampo (Japanese herbal medicine)….I know your pain. It is the most horrible way to ingest medicine. It tastes as bad as it smells. My husband takes seirogan every time he has an upset stomach. I can’t imagine what in the hell the first person who discovered this medicine was thinking when they thought it would be a good idea to put it in one’s mouth.

After a couple of days rest, I felt well enough to hobble around with a cane. My husband took good care of me, often tolerating my requests and whining. He also came home every lunch time to eat lunch with me :) He sometimes says the wrong thing but he’s there for me when I need help.

Out shopping for a home delivery box!

Today though, I’ve come back to reality! I have to work today! Until Christmas day (with my grumpy boss). My husband has it worse since he doesn’t have any holidays until the 31st. I feel so depressed. My ankle and knee don’t help.

I usually get home late at night and my husband usually comes home earlier at 7pm or so. But this season is really busy so he will probably be home later than me tonight.

I hope he can come home at the same time as I do tonight so we can go to the grocery store and salvage whatever is left of our Christmas eve. I really need some holiday cheer! 2020 you suck.

I hope everyone else is having a nice Christmas eve! Merry Christmas!!